Last weekend I got one of the most stereo-typically male items a man can get, a punching bag. It’s a big black bag on a big black stand. I didn’t really need one but having something that I can throw a punch at every now and again is fun.
But while putting together this piece of furniture down in the basement I dropped a metal plate injuring the most unlikely of body parts, my ring finger toe, and only that toe. The pinky toe is fine, the big toe that we all expect to be most in danger is ok, and the rest of the foot is hunky-dory.
I’m walking funny right now and in small moments I wonder how a toe that’s so small, a toe that I’ll bet you haven’t even thought of it as it’s own thing in years, and at best you think of it when it’s time to cut some toe-nails, can give me so much trouble.
It’s not that the pain is unbearable, I’msure that it’ll be fine by next week, but I’m reminded as I move around that even the smallest parts of us mean very much to the whole of us. But I’d really rather not be reminded of that trying to put on a sock or shoe and not wince.
But that’s got me thinking that there’s a fear of pain out in the world that’s pretty unhealthy. Now don’t confuse me with saying that pain is good. I don’t normally go out seeking pain, though I do like especially hot, hot sauces. Habinero or Ghost Pepper sauces are fun, as long as you sought them out.
Just look at the show “Hot Ones” where people of interest eat increasingly hotter sauces. In the first seasons where people weren’t sure of the reliability of the host and didn’t quite know what to expect you’d get extreme reactions. But as the experience became more mainstream, even realitively wimpy people saw that the pain wouldn’t be more than temporary and that they’d get a lot of views, so they’d power through the interview.
The nature of the hot wings and the pain didn’t change, just the reaction to the experience. I tend to believe that a lot of pain operates in this realm, a thing can be bad, but it doesn’t mean that we need to focus on it to exclude other things. If you watch a two-year old fall a lot of the time they’ll look to a gaurdian’s reaction to the fall to see how they should react.
Obviously we shouldn’t be ignoring pain. People who don’t feel pain are dangerous to themselves, and have to watch out in case they do something that will injure them permanently. And I think we can do more for pain management than handing a person a bottle and telling them to take a few of these and everything will be alright.
I think of the story I read earlier this year Madame Bovary, where a character walks with a club foot, and the town doctor in hope of fame and importance tries an experimental procedure to rid the man of the problem and causes further injury and suffering. In trying to fix a man who was getting along just fine he caused more suffering.
Or snapping back to reality all the pain caused by the medical establishment in trying to treat pain and bringing on the Opiod Crises. Allthough they operated with the best intentions the impulse to reduce pain in a sterile and quick way caused people to become addicted to painkillers and have other issues.
In the meantime we’re seeing signs that institional neglect is leading to higher death rates. In looking for quick “painless” solutions there’s a lot of damage being done.
In a quieter vein let me share a little bit of what I mean. During my last visit with my grandma she complained that her fingers were numb. She had plenty of medication with which to treat that, but she didn’t want a pill . She needed someone to hold her hands.
So while chatting with her, family members would massage her fingers. The human touch was important.
I think a lot of our psychic pain, our mental anguish, is a lack of connection to community. Having a group of people that you can talk to, and connect with and share with is just as important for pain as the sensation.
There’s plenty more to be said but I fear that I’d just be diluting the idea here that pain isn’t the only or even the most important consideration when we think about quality of life.
Until next week be careful about what you drop.
-Mike